Artifact: Vanity Metric Audit — Kestrel Weekly Metrics

Six metrics from Kestrel's weekly email, audited for vanity -- exercises co-21. Kestrel is a fictional product; every quoted number, question, or finding here is an illustrative, constructed example, not real data or a real transcript.

1. Total signups (all time) -- flagged, vanity: only ever goes up, and no stated decision changes based on its value.
2. Weekly active managers who publish a schedule -- actionable: a drop here would trigger a retention investigation.
3. Total shifts ever created (all time) -- flagged, vanity: cumulative and always rising; no decision is tied to it.
4. % of trials that publish a first schedule within 3 days -- actionable: this is the activation metric; a drop would trigger an onboarding-flow review.
5. App Store downloads -- flagged, vanity: measures interest, not product value delivered; no decision is tied to it.
6. Week-4 retention rate of paid teams -- actionable: a drop below a stated threshold would trigger a churn-intervention outreach.